I know I said I wasn't going to post super deep stuff on the internet, but I think this is important and has been weighing on my heart for awhile. I won't get into the painful events that landed me in therapy, to keep privacy, but the point is that I ended up there. I have protested for many years, looking back, I am not even sure why. I guess I just kept telling myself that Mexicans don't believe in that stuff. My mom is daughter to an immigrant, and my dad was born in Mexico- so very traditional, some-what outdated views on mental health.

I have always struggled with spiraling and dark thoughts. I blamed a lot of it on life circumstances and people who have hurt me. The truth is, everybody gets hurt. There will come a time though, when you will have to take accountability for the consequences of your own actions. Being a mentally unhealthy person doesn't just affect YOU.

Which brings me to therapy. I don't mean to sound dramatic, but honestly therapy was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I know a lot of people have to go through many therapists to find a good match, and not everybody has access to therapy, but if you ever have the opportunity, please take it. I would even say it is worth saving up to pay for a session or two if you feel mentally sick. Outside of therapy, I would also recommend looking up how to fix whatever symptoms you feel you have. There are lots of medical articles on ideas for unhealthy behavior corrections. I mean even looking up what it means to be unhealthy can be eye opening and help you pinpoint specific problems you have.

It is hard to fully explain without giving personal examples, but I guess she just stops me from spiraling and having unhealthy thoughts. When I express things that make me upset, she will either validate my feelings, or explain why I should not look at the situation like that. My brain hAD to be stopped. She sees things from an unbiased point of view, and gives me ideas on how to react next time a situation like that happens again. She cheers me on and told me crying is okay when you're feeling overwhelmed. I love when I tell her about darkest thoughts and she reminds me how thinking that way doesn't help anybody.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I no longer live in fear and sadness. I feel choked up even typing that out. I am by no means perfect, but I feel like I am growing, healing.

I am by no means perfect, but I am actively trying to learn what it means to be healthy mentally, have healthy connections, and push myself out of my comfort zone.

In other news, basket.ball.

I have been a long time fan of the San Antonio Spurs basketball team in the NBA. I remember them winning in 2014 and going downtown to honk (the whole city just drives around honking after a win lol). This year they made it to the finals again!!! For the NBA, first team to win 4 out of 7 games in the finals wins the trophy. SUCH a huge deal for a basketball fan. I think if you're an emo person, or maybe just any person, you may understand how nice and important it is to have something to look forward to. Usually for me it is concerts, but man these Spurs games felt like such a big event. I awaited each finals game so excited and anxious.

They did end up losing, but this historic finals run happens to have aligned with Mexico being in the FIFA World Cup! I hope my YouTube TV trial is long enough to watch the full series LOL. It also happened to line up that Olivia Rodrigo and Sleeping with Sirens both dropped new albums recently, and several good animes are coming out with new episodes each week. The reason I mention this is because something like a concert can be pricey, but there are so many other things to look forward to in the world! You just gotta keep your eyes open :)

Okay going back to basketball really quick though, man I am so hyped up for the next NBA season in October. The current lineup for the Spurs is very young and has so much potential as they gain more experience in the NBA!!

All this to say, if you are out there at rock bottom, depressed, mentally unhealthy, there is hope. There is always hope. I am sending so much love to you. You have to take the steps towards health, even if it is an uphill battle. I believe in you. It may be painful, but know they are growing pains<3.

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